Einstein Was Wrong

In my most simplified view of Einstein's special relativity, time slows down and distances shorten, when you approach the speed of light.  At horse shows, time speeds up and distances elongate.  Let me tell you about my last 4 days at the Northern Winter Classics and Rancho Murieta to prove my point.

1. Get up at 5 AM to get to the cold dark showgrounds.
2. School the horses in their arenas that they will be showing later in the day.
3. Get out before the water truck and tractor dragging a most horse-horrifying harrow preps it for the day, and before all your calming schooling is completely undone.  
4. Get dressed in show clothes.
5. Stay relatively clean (did I mention horse shows and dusty and dirty?  Add a 30 mile per hour wind, and the dirt turns into a pumice stone scrubbing at an expensive spa, with your clothes inconveniently still on.).
6. Get the right number tied to your back.
7. Learn your course.
8. Ignore the fact that your mount is looking at every loose dog and flying plastic bag when there are ten 3x3 foot jumps they have to jump in their way.  How is it that they look off at the horizon following some random tracing of a leaf blowing in the wind, but a candy-cane stripped fence as big as the sofa in your living room causes no notice until they are twenty feet away, travelling at 12 miles per hour, giving them 1.13 seconds to get their 4 legs wound up and coordinated for lift off.  You, on the other hand, were introducing them the obstacle much further back.  But no, they would mot listen.  Like teenage boys listening to their mothers.  "Yes mom"  means "I have no idea what you just said."

I rode Princess and Private Capote in the Adult Amateur 3 foot hunter division.  First day, 2 rounds each, some dumb amateur moves with last minute changes of plan on the distances.  Sorry, guys. please forgive me. But we muddled through and got some ribbons.  Next day markedly better, more rhythmic canter and more coordinated rounds.  Capote get a second and third, so I put him in the flat class for a chance at a championship or reserve.  I liked what he did, but we came in 6th and did not reach the aforementioned goal.

Saturday was also marked by Hugh's return to the Grand Prix arena in La Princessa.  It was a beautiful round,  she was balanced and cadenced the whole way, but just as effectively fast as ever.  She just rolled off the last rail of the triple combination (others rapped it harder but it stuck, damn), and came in a respectable 6th.  

Now we are up to Sunday and we got to go in the Grand Prix arena!  What fun.  Little jumps in a big jump ring, like kids playing dress up and sloshing around in their mother's high heels. Small detail, Princess and Capote have never shown in that ring before.  Princess's only other exposure to that environment was the post-traumatic-stress-inducing Halloween costume class.  Seeing horses with airplane wings can get some unglued.

So back to getting up at 5, getting both in the arena.   Working through their "issues:"  Princess was first in the 3 foot equitation class over fences.  The first 2 fences were a straight line of 2 oxers a full 84 feet apart, six true 12 foot long strides.  Roll back to a narrow vertical, 5 strides to another oxer, bending line, roll back to a one stride on the diagonal in the middle of the arena with a blind approach, then the fence on the center line at the end, 7 strides and a right hand turn to an oxer, and 7 strides with a dog leg and collection to the last fence, with a sharp right and turn so you don't just jump out of the arena.

I overheard the judge giving the line up to the announce and heard my number 506.  So I know I placed somewhere.  But I won the class!! Then third in the flat class, which got me into the bonus class, CWD Concour d 'Equitation.  It was great to have another round, really got Princess in a nice frame and went around with no drama, got 5th place, but first place among participants who could drive themselves to the show (yes, beaten by teenagers again).

The second star (after La Princessa) was Private Capote.  I entered him, with Lindsey's permission, in the Cloverleaf Medal Class.  Same arena.  Same distracting ambiance and novelty.  He was a saint.  Measured and consistent (Princess, are you listening?), it was a nice round.  This course was so different from hunter rounds.  Here jumps were appearing to be scattered all over the arena at different angles.  No direct sight lines, jumps appearing after tight corners.  But with all the practice of leaf distractions (see above), seemed not to matter.  We were on notice to wait around for the work off.  So Capote got a long walk, one jump in the warm up arena to wake up, and I tentatively took off to jump fences 4-6a-6b-7-9-3-2 in that order.  The teenager whom I was jumping off against was surrounded by her doting trainer and all the horse show mom's at her barn who were reveling in the moment of having their kip being in the work off in a class of 17.  I told her that her entourage was much bigger than my entourage (which consisted of Kiara).

So that is my tale.  During the 70 seconds each of the above described courses took, time seemed to speed up, not slow down.  Though by the last day, it finally seemed real time and not too amped up.  And distance measurements?  Those fences look way bigger than what I could jump left to my own devices, the distances in the lines like an ocean to cross in the allotted number of strides, but Princess and Capote both stepped up to the plate and did their jobs, each in their own style, as different as night and day, but both fabulous partners.